Category: funny

Reptilian News: How the mythical ISIS leader Al Baghdadi was killed

In the news – Republic operative who was looking for Clinton email allegedly found to have committed suicide.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/gop-operative-who-hunted-for-hillary-clintons-emails-killed-himself-report-2017-07-13

Reptilian News cartoon: US military kills Al Baghdadi again.

US and UK governments kill their enemies in novel ways. A creature from the Pentagon basement called Al Bagdhadi is about to be killed again.

https://twitter.com/MoralVolcano/status/885215872658194432

Reptilian News: Why Aadhaar is bad for you & India!

Reptilian News cartoon: eKYC is an oxymoron. Even dead people can pass it.

Know Your Customer means exactly that. e-KYC is an oxymoron. Even a dead person’s phone can complete e-KYC.

Unlike a hand-written signature, the biometric fingerprint can be replicated without the will/knowledge of the owner. Any business can collect fingerprints and personal data. If fingerprints are leaked online or sold to mobile phone theives, then they can conduct Aadhaar-enabled financial transactions.

The UIDAI Act offers no recourse or alternative for those whose biometric data has been stolen. With so many things made dependent on Aadhaar, life will come to a nought for those people. Aadhaar is a single-point failure on which the financial security of our nation is being set to be wrecked.

Reptilian News: Why, unlike Obama administration, there are so many leaks with Trump’s

FBI Bug: We are bugs left behind from the Obama administration. We drive Trump crazy now.

CIA bug: Earlier, we used to relay orders from CFR.

Reptilian News cartoon: FBI bugs the White House and leaks to the Press

An alphabet soup of American intelligence agencies including the FBI, CIA and NSA have bugged the White House for decades. They are now driving Trump crazy with leaks because he giving orders instead of taking them from controllers usually supplied from the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR).

Reptilian News: Sore loser, CIA pretends to be more loyal to Trump administration than Trump himself!

Weeks after laptop ban on flights from the Middle East, US intel agencies seems to think nobody could have guessed it was about weaponized laptops.

CIA thinks that this info, passed on to US by the coy ISIS sponsor Israel, is too secret to be revealed by the US president to the Russian government!

So, “unknown sources” in the “intelligence community” contacted fake news outfits such as CNN and Reuters with the “information” that Donald Trump had “leaked” intelligence info to the damned Ruskies. Anxious to protect their intel “sources”, these idiots had to contact their stringers in the media. Oh, the vanities of the deluded! Isn’t this a clear case of someone other than the king trying to be more loyal than the king?

Each fakes news outlet went about repeating the talking points as if it was their own exclusive scoop.

This is pathetic, CIA. It seems that you are running out of ideas. You suck!

Donald Trump is the president. Get over it.

Reptilian News: CIA has lost its mojo

CIA used to hate Russian President Vladimir Putin most. Now, they hate American President Donald Trump most. Understandably, they have lost the plot.

Reptilian News: Bill Clinton’s debut novel is “President Is Missing” – Missing what? Bimbos?

The Hilly-Billy Clintons should take a well-deserved break from politics.

Billy: “My new book’s title is ‘The President Is Missing.'”

Hillary: “Missing what, you moron? Bimbos like Monica Lewinsky?”

Reptilian News cartoon: Bill Clinton's new book President's Missing not liked by Hillary

Bill Clinton’s new book (a novel) “The President’s Missing” should infuriate Hillary because it implies he misses Monica.

Why FBI’s Comey was fired by Donald Trump

“Yes, we will investigate if Russia had inappropriate contacts with Trump team. Hillary Clinton’s private server was… …only carelessness. We let her lawyers delete emails & smash her Blackberry devices. But, there was no criminal intent. So, I pronounce her Not Guilty!”

Reptilian News cartoon: Clinton cheerleader Comey, clear out your desk.

Clinton cheerleader Comey, clear out your desk.

Silly reasons Hillary Clinton thinks why she lost to Donald Trump (X) – Fake News

“Evil Russians hacked America, leaked the files to Wikileaks, who then flooded the media with fake news… Well… if the NSA wasn’t busy spying on Americans, I would have some reason to complain.”

Silly reasons Hillary Clinton thinks why she lost to Donald Trump (X) - Fake News

Evil Russians hacked by server and released it to Wikileaks. What was the NSA doing at this time?

Silly reasons Hillary Clinton thinks why she lost to Donald Trump (IX) – Mainstream Media

“Donald Trump is racist, xenophobic and misogynist… Well, that became the mainstream media dope only after Donald Trump went rogue with Mexican wall bomb. Until then, the media was like forever running stories of how untrustworthy I was.”

Silly reasons Hillary Clinton thinks why she lost to Donald Trump (IX) - Mainstream Media

Even the mainstream media did not like me until Trump decided to go rogue with his Mexican wall.